urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jolieee je m'appelle je m'appelle 2009-12-02T05:38:36Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jolieee:78700 2009-12-02T05:38:36Z 2009-12-02T05:38:36Z coming to an end of 2009.<br /><br />&quot;People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that&rsquo;s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you&rsquo;ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.&quot;<br />&mdash; Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jolieee:78350 2009-05-26T20:43:11Z 2009-05-26T20:43:11Z &nbsp;the cruise was wayyyyyy too much fun.<br />sucks to be back in reality and having to go back to work.<br />but now that vacation is over, its time for me to do some spring cleaning<br />and find a new job!&nbsp;<br /><br />&quot;hes trying to make you feel like you dont deserve to be treated well, rather than making you feel like he deserves you.&quot;<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br type="_moz" /> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jolieee:78102 2009-05-11T17:58:50Z 2009-05-11T18:00:12Z the past 2 months ive realized you cant trust anyone, even your bestest friend.<br />when they do something wrong theyll turn on you so fast and make it seem like everything is your fault..<br />pathetic.<br />im kinda bummed.<br />i really miss my dad and family in canada.&nbsp;<br />after the cruise, i hope i can start a new job<br />and start doing things my way<br />i feel like ive been unpersevering and tense ever since &nbsp;montreal<br />but i feel more at ease that my grandpa is now at peace<br /><br />im really looking forward going on a cruise with my boyfriend and his family :D 6 more days!<br />we were going to sail to mexico, but because of the whole swine flu dilemma, we will be going to my homeland! CANADA!!<br />i feel more safe than going to freakin mexico. crazy times.<br /><br /><br />time to shower,make breakfast, and head over to my boyfriends house!&nbsp;<br />were giving his mom our awesome gift, and going tanning :]<br /><br /><br /><br /><br type="_moz" /> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jolieee:77398 2009-03-26T20:33:43Z 2009-03-26T20:33:43Z &nbsp;uhmm lets see.<br />driving in my friends car<br />taxi comes out of nowhere and hits my side<br />i go into a concussion<br />i wake up and paramedics are in my face talking to me<br />i didnt know what was going on until i looked at the car that was totalled.<br />went to the hospital sat night, went through 3 mri's and had minor bleeding in my brain.<br />they released me mon afternoon after seeing that it wasnt getting any worse. thank god.<br />on lots of pain killers.<br />my head is still pounding.<br /><br />anyways.&nbsp;<br /><br />im going to montreal on april 9.<br />going to see my grandpa for the last time :[ ive been rehearsing in my head what im going to say, and how im going to keep myself together. fuck i dont know. ive always been good at hiding my emotions but i have a feeling the second i see him im going to cry. :[<br />also going to see my dad who i havent seen in 3 years. im really excited about that. hes my favorite person in the world. and i wish there was a way where i can spend more time with him.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br type="_moz" /> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jolieee:77311 2009-03-12T01:16:49Z 2009-03-12T01:16:49Z &nbsp;going to montreal april 11<br />to see my dad i havent seen in 3 years! ahhh :]<br />and i really hope my grandpa makes it by then.<br />hes been in the hospital and will be there until he passes.<br />i really dont know if i would want to see him&nbsp;<br />just thinking about it makes my eyes water<br />and id rather remember him the times i last saw him 2 years ago.<br />hmmm :/<br /><br />just got some amazing books!<br /><br />i still need to get :<br />365 prescriptions to the soul<br />power of now<br />man and symbols<br /><br type="_moz" /> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jolieee:77035 2009-02-20T09:29:21Z 2009-02-20T09:29:21Z A relationship, in the truest sense of the word, means relating to another. Usually when we say that we relate to someone, it is because we've found common ground. But part of relating is finding ways to make ideas that seem different come together. So often when we choose relationships, we try to fit another person into our predetermined ideal. When they don't fit perfectly, we may try to make them over, creating our own vision from the raw material they've brought. But unless someone asks for guidance and direction, entering into a relationship with someone we want to change is dishonest. Then our relationship becomes with someone we've imagined, and anytime our partner steps outside of that imaginary projection, we will be disappointed. An honest relationship is one in which we accept each other as whole individuals, and find a way to share our life experiences together. Then, whenever we want, we can choose as a couple to give the relationship a makeover by renewing the way we interact.<br /><br /><br />By wanting to give another person a makeover, we are basically saying we don't accept them for who they are. If we take a moment to imagine the roles reversed, we can get a sense of how it would feel if our beloved only committed to us because they thought we were, or would become, someone else entirely. In such an environment, we are not relating to each other from a real place, and we are keeping ourselves from being able to learn and grow from the different viewpoints that our partners offer.<br /><br /><br />If we feel that a change is needed in our relationship, the only makeover that we truly have the power to make is on ourselves. By accepting our partners for exactly who they are&mdash;the ideal and the not-so-ideal&mdash;we will create an energetic shift in our relationships, and we may find ourselves really appreciating our partners for the first time. Working from within, we determine how we relate to the people and the world around us, and when we can accept it and embrace it all, without conditions, we make every act of relating a positive one. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jolieee:76685 2009-02-06T17:56:22Z 2009-02-06T17:56:22Z rainy weekend.<br />YAY urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jolieee:76331 2009-01-30T09:57:37Z 2009-01-30T09:57:37Z <strong>did you ever think that <br />maybe if you're not happy </strong><div><strong>its because of you?</strong></div> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jolieee:76162 2009-01-14T03:55:51Z 2009-01-14T03:55:51Z this is my daddy &lt;3 and i miss him so much :[<br /><img src="http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c178/supalexandra/newyear2009024-1.jpg" /> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jolieee:75992 2009-01-02T01:05:41Z 2009-01-02T01:05:41Z 2thousandand8<br />aahh crazy.i can't believe so much has happened in just a year.<br />i fell into a shit-hole. hung out with the wrong crowd and turned into a selfish brat.<br />but in the end i graduated school. i got my cosmetology license and i got my driver's license back :]<br />of course i can't forget all the shit i went through with people.<br />but i met the man of my dreams...after 2 years of fighting and being a complete bitch.<br />he swept me off my feet and made me grow in ways i never thought possible.<br />he challenged me, and like the stubborn little girl that i am, fought him every step of the way.<br />but he stuck by my side through everything. and i am so thankful&lt;3<br />he made me smile again. laugh again. and most of all, love again.<br />thanks for always being there for me even when it was almost impossible.<br />ive seen us grow and change in ways that only difficult times could allow us to.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />so here's to 2009 :]<br />im gonna roll with the punches.<br />and let the wind blow me where it may. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jolieee:75564 2008-12-25T22:36:41Z 2008-12-25T22:36:41Z "i talk about you day and night to the people here about my grand daughter in california next to hollywood and shes going to be a hairstylist! thats what i tell these people"<br /><br />my poor grandpa is in the hospital. he says hes in a lot of pain.<br />ive never heard him sound so bad in my life but im glad he made it through christmas and i hope i get to see him soon :[ im so sad. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jolieee:75484 2008-11-24T21:28:35Z 2008-11-24T21:28:35Z i'm going to montreal and toronto for christmas.<br />havent seen my dad in 2 years.<br />so glad im getting out of this shit hole place.<br />i deserve wayyy better than this. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jolieee:75081 2008-10-29T04:50:43Z 2008-10-29T04:50:43Z i dont know whats the point of having my livejournal.<br />i feel like i cant truly express myself<br />without feeling like i would be judged for it.<br />but then again, who still updates anyways?<br />so goodbye lj.<br />i now will write in my own journal<br />and keep this one up for lyrics, pictures, etc.<br /><br />*heard the new sample of circa survive<br /><br />soooooooooo amazing.<br />cant wait till theyre done recording.<br /><br />and set your goals needs to make a new record<br /><br />the end. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jolieee:74982 2008-10-11T03:58:15Z 2008-10-11T03:58:15Z over this place.<br />i feel like all my accomplishments has gone to shit<br />theres no place id wanna be more than in canada with my dad<br />& 5 hours from the rest of my family<br />i have no one here.<br />since ive moved here, ive always went back to montreal/toronto for xmas<br />and last year was my first time being in cali for xmas<br />a fucking disaster it was<br />and i promised myself i would never ever spend a xmas here in my life<br />i got my hopes up so high that i would see my dad for xmas<br />this will be going on the 2nd year where i havent seen him<br />my brother lost his green card awhile back and is in the process of getting a new one that would take 6 months.<br />im so scared to go up there alone. my brother's company would make me feel more comfortable<br />my mom and my step dads marriage is everything i dont want it to be<br />i feel like im 3 again crying over my parents divorce.<br />i wish my mom wouldnt have taken his child support money<br />and instead had me spend more time with him.<br />i miss him sooo much :[ urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jolieee:74502 2008-09-26T07:42:05Z 2008-09-26T07:42:05Z "As we move through our grief, we may find ourselves reluctant to release our pain, fearing we are letting go of who or what we have lost. We may even regard our movement toward healing as an act of disloyalty or giving up. Know that while the hurt may fade, the essence of what you had and who you loved will have already transformed you and forever stay with you. If anything, once you are ready for the pain of your loss to subside, their memories can then live more fully within you. Remember, that healing is a part of the spiraling cycles of grief, and that in letting yourself feel restored again, you are surrendering to a natural movement that is part of the dance of life." urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jolieee:74292 2008-09-26T06:12:37Z 2008-09-26T06:12:37Z Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first,and is waiting for it. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jolieee:73992 2008-09-23T17:45:06Z 2008-09-23T17:45:06Z wishing you were kissing me youll never be forgetting me<br />hopefully<br />youll never be regretting me<br />its sad to say i miss you<br />i wish for one last time i could just kiss you<br />damn<br />&lt;3 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jolieee:73791 2008-09-19T07:17:05Z 2008-09-19T07:20:20Z i JUST had to post this from grace's entry<br />who ever wrote it said the words i could never find<br />so speechless.<br /><br />"--A little girl gives her trust in her father to guide her as she grows up not fully understanding what impact it will have on her.<br /><br />As a little girl, the first love in her life is her father and how he treats her will have an effect on her relationship with men later on in her life.<br /><br />Father making time to spend with his daughter helps build his daughter's self esteem.<br /><br />When daughters feel love and support from their father they generally have good relationships in marriage.--"<br /><br />i miss my family in canada so much.<br />i only have my mom and brother here.<br />theres no way i could be any more further away from them..id have no one.<br />i miss my dad so much<br />seeing him once or maybe even twice a year if im lucky is not enough<br />im so afraid i cant even call him and tell him how much i love him and miss him cause ill just break down in tears and choke on my words. and i'd just wish hed be there to hug and squeeze me so tight to take away the feeling of loneliness away.<br />and wow that was so emo.<br /><br />sorry. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jolieee:73674 2008-09-15T08:58:59Z 2008-09-15T08:58:59Z yesterday :<br />grace<br />david<br />my brother<br />alex<br /><br />went to nocturnal last night.<br />so amazing.<br />patron on the rocks MMMMM!<br />saw miss alexandra &lt;3<br />danced to digitalism!!<br /><br />the end of the night was kinda lame...and the night at the hotel was awkward :/<br /><br />no more boyfriends grace ;] theyre crazy!!<br /><br />AND. this might be weird...i took a personality disorder test just for fun.<br />the results:<br /><br />Paranoid: Very High <br />Schizoid: Moderate <br />Schizotypal: Moderate <br />Antisocial: High <br />Borderline: Very High <br />Histrionic: Moderate <br />Narcissistic: High <br />Avoidant: Very High <br />Dependent: Very High <br />Obsessive-Compulsive: High<br /><br />and read what each of them meant. its so true and <br />i feel so shitty<br />i thought i was doing better...ive been making all the right decisions and changing everything. but deep down inside i feel that way.<br /><br />ah i wanna move out asap. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jolieee:73227 2008-09-08T23:13:09Z 2008-09-08T23:13:09Z its now monday septemeber 8.<br />wtf! the days just keep rolling and rolling. everything is happening so fast.<br />this weekend was amazing.<br />on friday I woke up and got breakfast with alana gabe and ana at classic burger. that night miles came and picked me up. some people came over and we drank and listened to music. I really feel like I don't fit in with people anymore. and I really don't care. I like being on my own. I love working. im saving my money. hell I might just move out on my own. I can't rely on people. always a disappointment. im getting my drivers lisence in 6 weeks. im not going to be nice about driving everyone. ahhhh I wanna get out of here.im not even sure if I wanna live in santa monica anymore. I like 2 mnts away from the beach and the breeze is amazing. I don't know. im at work. bored. thinking about random stuff. blah blah blah. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jolieee:73128 2008-08-31T02:03:04Z 2008-08-31T02:03:04Z i never update this anymore.<br />and that kind of sucks<br />i love looking at old entries<br />i cant help but sometimes dig up the past<br />most of the time it hurts to read what i wrote<br />theres more downs than ups.<br />ive done a lot of growing up and i think my latest entries are pretty decent. <br />im really hopeful.<br /><br />stephanos is moving back to greece in 2 days<br />and im bummed because this is the first time where me alana john steph gabe yanni and ana have all gotten close<br />sucks that it had to happen before he leaves<br />ive never met such genuine people in my life<br />my mom was right about how my greek friends from church would always be my good friends<br />unlike &quot;the americans&quot; hahhaah my mom is crazy!<br /><br />whenever i get my hopes up high i start to doubt myself and i hate it. <br /><br />im moving pretty soon<br />and im going to be even more alone.<br />ya ill be with my friends, but they come and go.<br />family is forever..but mine is so spread apart.<br />gahhhhskafhksdfksdfhjkasdjhfsdf urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jolieee:72928 2008-08-23T07:43:43Z 2008-08-23T07:43:43Z 01. I hurt: myself for being clumsy<br />02. I love: the way i feel when im in his arms<br />03. I hate: my step dad<br />04. I cry: when i have to talk about my dad<br />05. I fear: the dark<br />06. I hope: i will never be homeless<br />07. I sadden: uh<br />08. I feel alone: when no one understands<br />09. I kill: spiders in m room only if theyre small ones<br />10. I talk: to a few people<br />11. I listen: so talk<br />12. I break:my sunglasses a lot<br />13. I see: the light! haa<br />14. I smell: the cold air through my screen<br />15. I taste: toothpaste<br />16. I work: too much<br />17. I remember: kissing you in our truck after we went to jack in the box,halloween<br />18. I hold: my monkey when im scared<br />19. I hide: a lot<br />20. I pray: few nights here and there<br />21. I walk: fast<br />22. I drive: my mom crazy<br />23. I read: inspirational books<br />24. I burn: i no burn<br />25. I breathe: when im not holding my breath<br />26. I play: spider when im bored at work<br />27. I miss: you!<br />28. I touch: the keyboard<br />29. I learn: something new everyday<br />30. I feel: happier<br />31. I know: what its like when you have no one to talk to<br />32. I said: nothing<br />33. I dream: of the future<br />34. I have: my monkey to hold when youre not here :p<br />35. I want: to move out already!<br />36. I fall: pshh i never fall :]<br />37. I wait: i dont wait<br />38. I need: a vacation urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jolieee:72627 2008-08-20T06:28:22Z 2008-08-20T06:28:22Z nothing that exciting<br />but work.<br />all i do is work work work<br />and trying to keep everything together.<br />im getting impatient<br />about my cosmo and drivers license<br />i feel trapped<br />its bullshit<br />i was so fucking stupid.<br />its never happening again<br />i want to get out of here<br />i miss my family in montreal and toronto<br />i have no family here<br />im stuck.<br /><br />"Woke up to feel something <br />missing like a limb.<br />Numb and black, the ever-growing void. <br />Like cancerous vines that strangle<br />the throat of memory."<br /><br />"There is more to discover.<br />Although we fly, it ends in land or crash.<br />The freedom of flight means eventual choice.<br />Fall to the earth.<br />Look to the skies."<br /><br />fucking amazing. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jolieee:72361 2008-08-10T02:13:44Z 2008-08-10T02:13:44Z ITS ALL GRAVY BABY<br />LIFE IS FUCKING LOVELY.<br />hahahahha urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:jolieee:72013 2008-08-07T19:20:00Z 2008-08-07T19:20:00Z wtf am i doing.<br /><br />time's up.